Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home

20Jan/110

Avanti N.Y. Pizza Restaurant

I'm finishing off a liter and a half of Shiraz to forget

Well, let's get down to some motherfucking business. This place is new. Like for real new. It exists in a terrible shit biscuit of a stripmall space that has been forever-populated with failed pizzerias since this stripmall was born from some unholy mother who wanted to make a dime on some Market Street real estate. It's never been good, it never will be good, and we are okay with that. Apparently out-of-towners buy space here and think they can outdo the space's former pizzeria. Well, sorry, it's not a problem with the space nor with the pizza. The problem is that Brooklyn Pizza is right next door and they outclass you in every regard. Avanti won't be here in a year and it pains me. They probably won't be around in six months.

I took the above picture from my car because I was feeling lazy. I have to say straight off that I wanted to like this place. This place has been a number of pizza places. I lived nearby for years and I may have been here once during its various incarnations. There was never a need with a high quality pizza spot a football field or four away. This is clearly a family or near-family operation, unlike the "Fantastic" or "Incredible" or such-like that has perhaps existed here before. It's got a very homey atmosphere; it's really an ideal location for a pizzeria, except for it being far too close to Brooklyn Pizza. The entire layout is completely ideal.

Well, fucking newsflash: I don't know what's going on here. Look at the southern portion of the rim of this slice. It looks like a fucking shitbird rat gnawed on the end of it. Important: NEVER SERVE A SLICE THAT LOOKS LIKE THIS TO A CUSTOMER -- ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE A NEW BUSINESS. Continuing, this slice looks shitty regardless. Just looking towards the rim you can see that there is far too much sauce. The worst part about this slice is that the cheese was good, the sauce was good and the crust was good. The problem being that the crust was malformed and regrettably flour-laden and the sauce was inexcusably heavy-handed. This heavy-handedness revealed that the sauce was far too spiced - a problem which would have otherwise likely not been noticed.

I wanted to like this slice. The fellow serving me was exceptionally nice, I suppose a testament to the terrible economy, in some sick way. After delivering my slice to my table on a ceramic plate with silverware and a napkin he preceded to check in 3 times before I was done with the slice and further gave me a free dessert. A free dessert with a $1.95 + tax slice. Imagine that shit.

This was a turbo-okay dessert. Since this is not a dessert review I will only briefly mention that it was good yet hella-wicked-dry, which was a problem since I didn't buy a drink here. My mouth felt like the Sahara expected me to swallow. Furthermore, I realize I am a celebrity around town but I will not be swayed by paltry dessert-gifts. A free PBR tallboy is a different story. Future notice. I'm sorry the pizza was pretty crummy. The sauce was actually fine. Except it was ladelled on by an eternal ladel, which, being eternal, never stopped. So much sauce, it was just god damn shooting out everywhere. The cheese was good. The crust, besides being grotesquely malformed near the rim, was good. The quality of the components are important, and they will be featured in my rating. Sadly, the general overall fuckitude and the wicked oversaucing will also be featured in my rating.

I also force myself to mention some oddities in Avanti's pricing: they charge 12.99 for a 16" Plain Pizza. Brooklyn charges 12.00 for an 18" Plain Pizza. The difference between a 16" and an 18" pizza is huge. Also, as a curiosity I need to mention that Avanti charges $1.95 for a plain slice and only charges $.05 more for a Hawaiian slice, which I think comes with pineapple and ham, as is custom. Like I said, this place is new.

By the way: if you make your way near this shit-cluster of businesses, go to Firebowl. It is the best or second-best Asian takeout that I know of in town. It's a few doors down from Avanti.

I hate giving this place a lesser rating than Fat Tony's but I sorta have to.

Rating:

5 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)

Avanti N.Y. Pizza Restaurant    - $2.11
7134 Market St.  Wilmington, NC 28411



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Posted by pete

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  1. Seriously who does this? If you don’t like something, why go on the internet, make a whole page about it and even creep and take pictures!??? Wow NO LIFE :) COME AGAIN :)

  2. This blog is an excuse to eat pizza. I’m a gainfully employed fat idiot. I’m sorry that your place can’t make decent pizza. I wish you the best.

    • OK Pete… As you are entitled to your opinion I will agree to disagree. I eat at Avanti’s on average at least 3-4 times a week at different times of the day. I was the very first customer in the establishment and also the very first to purchase a beer there. I have NEVER been served a slice of pizza that ever looked like the one you depicted. I do not know what your background in the culinary field is, but I must say it is very limited from what I can gather. The pizza at Avanti’s is made fresh daily, several times a day. They serve a variety of toppings of fresh ingredients. They use 100% whole milk Mozzarella cheese, unlike most places that use part-skim milk Mozzarella cheese. Their sauce is NOT overly spicy, nor is it to bland. I have watched them make pizzas many many times and have never seen them go overboard on the sauce. I do have experience in the pizza business having been a manager of a Domino’s pizza in another state. I do know the owner and most of the staff by name. If you are looking for a great slice of pizza, This is the place. I also want to make known that they also have great pasta dishes and subs. As for value, I don’t know of anywhere in town that you can get a better value for the buck. I think before you go trying to impersonate a food critic that you actually go out and learn about the food you plan to critique. I bet Gordan Ramsey himself could not please you. Is there any where in town that does make a good pizza in your opinion? I would love to compare them side by side.

      • My review was based on that single slice. That you’ve never had a slice that looked so shitty should be enough for you to understand my review and start taking your happy pills again. Also, I don’t give a shit that you managed a fucking Domino’s. It’s like a McDonalds manager using his title to argue he knows shit about what a good hamburger is.

  3. also i desperately want to tittyfuck you

  4. We ate there last night, and i found a cockroach on my slice of pizza, Never again. I cant even look at pizza any more. Maybe now i will lose my freshman 20.

    • Don’t know who you are but I am willing to bet you are FOS….As I told Pete above I eat there 3-4 times a week and I have NEVER even seen a roach in the establishment. I think you are making this up.

    • i bet u got paid by “pete” to say that cockroach shit

  5. Nonah or Justin…What a loser you are.

  6. I once found a dick in my pizza at Avantis!

  7. Great pizza. Great people. Cozy place.

    • Awesome Pizza, nice people and yes it is close to Brooklyns, and though I love them, there is nothing wrong with Avants. I eat at both places depending on what I want. Brooklyns charge 18 bucks for white pizza and Avants charges 13, but I like Brooklyns regular cheese. So for those who haven’t tried them should!

  8. Seriously this review is dumb, because ive been to avanti many times and the food is always good, the place is cozy, and and the people are very nice. they also get alot of deliveries and have been attracting lots of people

  9. This makes me want to check this spot out when I come home to visit my parents. I know I’m a true celebrity where I’m livin at, haha ya rite, but I never expect gifts here nor there. Sounds nice though ya know, they ain’t usin no paper plates or plastic silverware or nothin’. Its all about food, service, price, I don’t expect the spot to do their linear programming on their menu prices correctly. I mean it is true that their description of the Margherita is actually a pizza bianci (white pizza), but I’m still gonna order it.

  10. THIS IS THE BEST PIZZA IN WILMINGTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Pete, go fuck yourself!!!

  12. Nicest staff, wonderful pizza, and good prices. I love this place bc it’s close to my home and I order delivery frequently. I hope that the posts above are not true bc I’m a huge fan. Since all the negative comments seem to be unprofessional, inappropriate, and simply rude I can only assume it isn’t based on the food but some personal grudge. So I’ll be sticking with my taste buds and wallet on this one. That is unless someone intelligent posts a credible review. So thank you to the succesful, polite, curtious and always respectful Avanti.

  13. We got a pizza from here last night, and it was so shitty I had to see what you said about it. Our pie looked nothing like your slice, but at first bite I was like FUCK, why didn’t I just get Brooklyn? Never again, avantis. And seriously, who are these douche-nuggets that are mad over a review of average?

  14. they are closed now.


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