Well it is a motherfucking bowling alley, after all
I never intended to review this place. Break Time is a bowling alley, or something. I guess more accurately it's a few bars, a big pool hall, a bowling alley, and an arcade with a kitchen somewhere in the back. It's like an all-you-can-eat buffet of immature vices. Personally, I've moved onto bigger things in life. Any place without a Cleveland Steamer lounge is almost entirely uninteresting to me.
Based on the (admittedly poor) counsel of a friend, I ventured here and tried the pizza even though they don't sell slices. Personally I think it's idiotic for a bowling alley to only serve pies. Slices are the money-makers. $2.50 for a slice or $10 for 8 slices. Even with my primordial understanding of mathematics I'm pretty sure there's more profit in the slice business. But I digress.
Right off the bat, opening the box and looking at the pizza I could tell that it wouldn't be the worst pizza I've reviewed here. And while that's true and all, I wish I had just stopped at this first observation and gifted this pizza to a random college-area hobo (who would have dumped the pizza and crafted a crack pipe out of the box).
Upon first taste, I was surprised to kind of enjoy it. But I was pretty hungry and also moderately drunk. The more I ate of it after that first bite, the more pronounced the problems became. The most immediate problem was the floppiness of the crust, which in turn led me to notice that it is screen-cooked. This is, after all, a bowling alley pie so perhaps I should not expect them to use peels to work their pies. However, they do claim to make dough daily. This leads me to what is probably my biggest complaint: the dough itself.
I'd bet good money they have approximately zero salt in their dough recipe. Or maybe they just forgot to add it this time. I don't know or care. Also, based on the inordinate amount of time it took me to process and shit this pizza out I'm guessing their "daily" dough is used the same day they make it. In my experience, that is a usually a gastrointestinal nightmare in the making.
Onto the cheese: there was far too much of it and it was kind of crummy. I'm guessing part-skim (even though the pie was a bit greasy). It sometimes had the toe-cheese consistency of ricotta or something, which was off-putting. And the sauce, while not entirely offensive, was weird and pasty.
Also, the remainder of the pie was fucking terrible when cold. This is always a telling sign.
With all those negatives out of the way I'm forced to admit that this pizza wasn't horrible, in relation to other pizza I've had around town. And for a bowling alley pizza, I guess I'd have to say it is above par. Or whatever par is in bowling terms.
They're lucky I was drunk
5 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)Break Time Grille - $10 + tax
127 S. College Road, Wilmington, NC 28403
Since I haven't updated this blog in almost a month, I thought I'd post something that virtually everyone would find completely non-useful. I went to a place called 3 Brothers Pizza Cafe in some shithole corner of shithole Long island. The pizza was pretty damn good. They also have an entire vegan menu which is as extensive as their extensive regular menu. I mention this only because for a place that specializes in vegan shit, their normal-person pizza was really good.
This is another reason I miss New York. Those yankee shits don't wear their religion on their sleeve, and they damn sure know that booziness is next to godliness, and I can respect that. I was going to go to this event (whatever the fuck it was) but instead I just drank a fifth of vodka by myself. Also as a sidenote I had some Goodfellas pizza again and it was markedly better than the burnt shit I previously reviewed. So maybe it was just a bad night on their part that one time. I also recommend their other food.