Wilmington Pizza Insulting the stretch of pavement and stripmalls you call home


Little Buffalo Pizza Shop

Posted by pete

How quaint!

This is a new and great little pizza shop taking over the location from Amore which had taken it from an old favorite, Ninos. Below I will attempt to embed their menu, which goes well beyond a simple slice joint.

The menu looks pretty good to me. Sadly, I'm rarely in this area anymore. I was only vaguely in the area and going to get the slice pictured below took like a million years. Then I made the mistake of taking Kerr Ave home during rush hour. Wow fuck that road. Anyway, the slice:

You might not be able to tell from my shitty picture but this was a big slice of pizza. Don't let the massive amount of spices fool you, I added them after the fact because I'm the boss. Let's run this motherfucker down right now:

Sauce: Good, though a bit too lightly applied.

Cheese: Good, though too heavily applied.

Crust: Good, properly salted, little yeasty, kinda too soft for my taste ... cooked on a screen (I think).

They have all the components here to make a near-perfect pizza but their application ratios are just a bit off and you end up missing out on a nicely done undercarriage. Yeah I said it. Undercarriage, you bitch.

This seems like a pretty exciting new restaurant for Wrightsboro to get their hands on. I wish it was near me, damnit. I overheard the owner (I assume) saying he makes most or all of the desserts himself and they even had some homemade She-crab soup in the back. Even with the minor quibbles I've written about their pizza, it really was good and a good value based on the size and quality. I just have to mention everything I can because food reviewing is pure bloviation and fuck you.



2.5 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)

Little Buffalo Pizza Shop - $2.50 + tax
2535A Castle Hayne Rd, Wilmington, NC 28401
Little Buffalo Pizza Shop Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato



Posted by pete


They're not wrong!

I feel complete.

Filed under: Bullshit 1 Comment


Posted by pete

Pizza Reviews! One Per Year! All aboard!


It's been a long time since my last review. Mostly because there just isn't too much pizza left to review in Wilmington, but also because I'm a lazy bum. Recently Paul Stephen told me that Spicoli had opened in the old Bessie & Giuseppe location. Seems like this is another spot that gobbles up pizzerias and spits out ... other pizzerias. It seems like this location should support some good business with the right pizzeria but every place that tries just sucks. Luckily for Spicoli, they are much better than their predecessors, B&G and Incredible Pizza.

Custom demands I now show you a picture of some greasy cheese pizza:


It seems like you can't order single slices here, but you can get 2 slices for $5, which is not a bad deal.

The slices are a reasonable size for $2.50 per. And they're pretty good. The greatest strength of this pizza is the cheese. It's good and greasy and none of that low-fat part-skim full-bullshit mozzarella that many pizzerias seem to favor (because they're stupid). One of  the slices had the cheese over-applied but it wasn't a big deal since it was decent mozzarella.

The sauce was lightly applied but actually quite good. I could have gone for a bit more sauce but it's a minor quibble.

The dough/crust is the only real issue with this pizza. As far as I could tell they're cooking these things on screens or pans or something, so they're not properly cooked on the bottom, it's just soft and stupid like my weiner. And while properly salted (a rarity in Wilmington) there is something wrong with their dough formulation and I think it's probably that they're using a lot of oil in their recipe. You're left with a crust that is heavy and dense and sort of greasy. It's disappointing. The cornicione should be a nice airy, crunchy affair. Not some pizza hut shit. The undercarriage should be browned if not charred. Not just warmed up.

Overall, though, the pizza is pretty good.



3 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)

Spicoli - $5 for 2 slices
1978 Eastwood Rd, NC 28403

Filed under: Pizza Reviews 1 Comment

Marco’s Pizza

Posted by pete

Applejack Waffles


I took this photo with a potato, deal with it. My inability to take a picture reflects my inability to rate this pizza. It's been so long since I have rated a goddamn pizza that I had to refer to my own Listing page to figure out where to put this monstrosity, rating-wise. Which got me thinking: wow. Wilmington pizza SUCKS. I know I've said that before but goddamn.

In any case I am giving Marco's Pizza a solid '5' on the recircumcision scale, only because they are better than Frank's. '5' seems to be that magical, nebulous zone that bad pizzerias fall into while they're clinging to the edge of pure desperation. A rating worse than '5' indicates that everyone at the establishment cut their dicks off long ago.

Speaking of the pizza, which I am loathe to do, it was shitty. The crust was tasteless, the cheese was probably some kind of mixture of cheeses and had decent flavor, but it was applied too heavily. It reminded me of Pizza Hut cheese, I think. I have no fucking idea if this pizza even had sauce because the pie had 18 pounds of cheese on it.

Speaking of Pizza Hut, this pizza is better than Pizza Hut (pan or otherwise). It is also better than Papa Johns (they're fucking terrible). Marco's is, however, worse than either Dominos or Little Caesar's. You shouldn't buy shit from any of these guys but I know you're going to, so that's what the deal is.

I also went to Brixx Wood Fired Pizza the other day. How do these kids get away with calling their ovens "Wood Fired" when it's clearly gas-fired? Can anyone explain this madness to me?

Shut up I don't care.


5 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)

Marco's Pizza - $too much
2305 S College Rd, Wilmington, NC 28412
Marco's Pizza Menu, Reviews, Photos, Location and Info - Zomato


Very unimportant update

Posted by pete

Instead of finishing the e-book I promised my Kickstarter contributers I randomly built a website featuring local drink and food specials.

It is located right here: sloshr.com

My great, crippled, decrepit empire now consists of:




In my estimation, these sites combined are worth more than a shitty Java game called Minecraft so I am looking for north of 2.5 billion in the event of a buyout.




Bessie and Giuseppe

Posted by pete

Improved from Impoverishment



I don't even know how to write these reviews, it's been too long since my last one. Be that as it may, today I'm taking a look at Bessie and Giuseppe, which took over from Incredible Pizza. B&G is so badass that they don't even need a sign with their name on it, apparently. Just 'PIZZA' will cut it, a sign carried over from Incredible. This didn't bother me. However, their other main focus is burgers so it seems like they might wanna say something like 'PIZZA AND BURGERS." Maybe that's just me.

I liked the interior of the place. I spent as little time as I could inside of the old Incredible location, but it seems very different to me now. In other words, improved. More of a bar vibe as opposed to some shitty fake pizzeria in a stripmall near the beach. Which is definitely not to say that Bessie and Giuseppe is much more than a shitty fake pizzeria in a stripmall near the beach. Moving forward we shall observe a slice of their pizza:

20140807_174416A rinky-dink little thing, that. You might say, "hey, it's only two dollars!" Yes sir, but that's what you pay at I<3NY and they include tax - and the slices are bigger and fucking mind blowing. The best thing going for this slice is the dough. It seems well-made and well-seasoned. Sadly, it was under-cooked and screen-cooked. It was paler than my ass. The sauce seemed good, I'll be honest. But I could barely taste any of it because it was so overwhelmingly under-applied. The cheese was mediocre, maybe a little above. If the sauce had been applied correctly and the pizza was cooked long enough and not on a screen, the cheese may have synergized this bitch to the moon.

The world may never know. Also, get draft beer guys, please lord.


4.5 recircs out of a possible 8 recircs (lower is better)

Bessie and Giuseppe - $2.00 + tax
1978 Eastwood Rd, NC 28403
Bessie and Giuseppe on Urbanspoon